The Beauty in Boring

The Beauty in Boring

There are days in my life that turn out to be more eventful than others. Days that completely deviate from what has come to be my norm. Days when I have to pull out my iPhone to capture every moment on camera to make sure I’ll have the experience in pixelated-form forever so that I can reminisce about it long after it’s passed. Days that reassure me that life does not always have to be all work and no play. Days like that, though, are rare. For the most part, my life right now is all about work. My life is relatively calm and steady and drama-free. My life is what some may consider terribly mundane. This becomes glaringly apparent to the public when I share pieces of my life on social media.

A few people who follow me on Snapchat have told me—in so many words—that my Snapchat posts are boring and predictable. Despite a deep, burning temptation to do so, I don’t bother putting up an argument with them because their opinions of how my life looks through the lens of Snapchat are not worth trying to refute or change. At the same time, I do not apologize to them or try to make them understand the general uneventfulness that is my life because I know that such opinions only come about when my life is being compared to other peoples’ online lives.

People whose lives are arguably more riveting to look at than mine. People whose everyday existence is believed to be just so extraordinarily good that it garners them thousands of social media followers. People whose lives are presumed to be perfect. People whose lives are thought to be untarnished by trials and tribulations. People whose grass is thought to be the greenest of green.

What’s happened, I think, is that these people have mastered the art of filtering their lives so expertly that it now seems to those of us looking in that their lives are not only better than our own, but that their well-curated lifestyles cropped into perfect Instagrammable squares should be the standard by which we judge the lives of all others.

And this should not be so. And yet, this is exactly how it is. This is what we do. This is who we have become. This is where we are right now.

And it sucks because we keep crying out for authenticity on the Internet. We keep telling people to be their true selves online, to pull back the curtain and to show us their real lives, but then when we see it, we fail to recognize it for what it is and we call it by a different name.

Boring.

Mundane.

Ordinary.

Basic.

Predictable.

Regular.

Stale.

Ugh, she’s at her regular ass job again?

Damn, does she ever party on weekends?

Dress up and go on dates?

Travel with friends?

OMG, her life is so boring!

Unfollow.

We have fully convinced ourselves that normal is now boring. That if one does not own the hottest handbag or have a handsome husband or a cute kid that her life is not worth sharing on the Internet.

Perhaps when we say that we want more authenticity online, what we’re really asking is for people to post Instagram pics and Snapchat stories and Facebook statuses that help us to forget how truly ordinary our own lives actually are.

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10 Comments

  1. February 22, 2017 / 9:14 am

    There is definitely beauty in boring. I’d rather have a mundane life than a life filled with drama. While I do love looking at people living the “fab” life I’m okay with my “normal” life. I don’t have the funds to jetset every month, or never wear the same outfit twice online loll! I get more excitement from find an amazing book to read, or finding a new recipe to try on Pinterest, or working on a DIY home project. You are so right we cannot compare our lives to others because that’s the “highlight reel”……and we all have behind the scenes no one sees. Whoever told you your snapchats were boring have no tact. That’s rude as all get out. I love your blog because I know I’m going to read something authentic in this space.

    • February 23, 2017 / 8:42 pm

      You get *exactly* what I’m talking about in this post. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts with me. People honestly believe that if you’re not wearing the latest, hottest fashions in IG posts or taking flights with your bae or friends, then you’re a bore. And I just had to write about it to get it off my chest because it’s concerning, especially because I’ve been told this by close family members. And I’m like, “But this is my REAL LIFE.” I go out to social events like once or twice a year; I don’t travel (because money); and I don’t have a partner or a large group of friends. I can only post my truth/my real life. I’m not gonna apologize for it being “boring” to some, nor am I going to try to make it more interesting/fun/entertaining/exciting than what it is. Either you watch it or don’t.

  2. March 1, 2017 / 8:18 am

    I completely agree with you! It’s crazy how just being normal has become something people don’t categorize as authentic. It actually reminds me of when people ask me how I get the blogger collabs and sponsorships that I do. My response is usually, you have to put in the work but I already know that they aren’t going to want to spend the hours batch posting, doing research, etc. They just want the highlights and not the reality.

    As far as the people who told you that you’re real life is boring – they can go fly a kite. We need more of what you share on Snapchat. I need more of it. I want to know that there are other people out there who have lives I can relate to. It’s inspiring.

    • June 11, 2017 / 5:31 pm

      Thanks, Tamara! And your point about people being drawn to the highlight reel and highlights of people’s lives as opposed to the day-to-day realness is true. I see it all day on Instagram and Snapchat.

  3. March 1, 2017 / 8:56 am

    Found this on twitter and it was such a great and refreshing read!!! I have just re-entered the blogging world and boy the struggle of normalcy. This could not have been more on point ! I enjoyed and def plan to subscribe keep up the Authenticity love!!

    • April 9, 2017 / 10:18 am

      Thanks for reading and subscribing, Torishalea. These days, it’s hard to put your real life online because so much of what people claim is real is actually staged.

  4. March 9, 2017 / 2:45 pm

    This is one my favorite posts from you so far. I just *cannot* with social media a lot of the times for this exact reason. I’ve always felt a bit conflicted by it. Where do you draw the line between using your social media FOR YOURSELF and for entertaining others? Unless you’re getting paid to do that, which is something altogether different.

    What feels totally inauthentic to me is posting something ONLY because I think people will be impressed by it. If everything you share is picturesque and exciting, fine but it’s not cool to put that pressure on others just to satisfy your voyeuristic needs.

    • April 9, 2017 / 10:30 am

      And that is the present day conundrum with social media. While social media platforms are intended to connect people and allow them to share their lives, we’ve moved far from that and now we’re trying to impress people and influence people and make them believe that our lives are more than they actually are. Now from the standpoint of full-time brand influencers, bloggers, YouTubers, etc., I totally get it, but from us regular/common folk? Nah, I don’t understand it. For me, I’ll always filter/edit my pictures because I dabble in photography and I’m really into aesthetics and want my photos to look a particular way. But, I’m not doing it to impress folks or get them to believe that my life is somehow better than theirs.

  5. March 22, 2017 / 6:13 pm

    Girl, People has the nerve to tell you your life is “boring” umm obviously your not, because they’re around long enough to notice. Andrea…Your “normal” and authentic life is awesome and I enjoy bit of it! You are one of the realest people I know of and this is why I chat with you and follow you! Because you’re real and I enjoy you. Keep doing you, booh!

    • April 9, 2017 / 10:25 am

      Thanks, Bobbie! You try to keep it real on the internet and people still aren’t satisfied, which is what I find most bothersome about social media nowadays. Your real life isn’t good enough any more. You have to have a wild, exciting existence for people to pay attention and think your content is valuable. What if I don’t have a cute kid or dog to share pictures of? Or what if I don’t have a boyfriend or hubby or tons of friends who link up every weekend and party? What if I’m not in the gym with my famous trainer every morning? What if I don’t have the extra income to fund vacations and road trips? What if I don’t have a cool 9 to 5 job? Am I then not good enough for social media? It’s so frustrating.

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